Effectual Calling

I. Introduction

^NAU Romans 8:28-30 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ²⁹ For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; ³⁰ and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

In this lesson, we continue with our study of the order of salvation as iterated by the apostle Paul in Romans 8:28-30. This lesson will discuss the topic of the special, effectual[1] calling of God unto salvation.

A. Thus far we have seen from Scripture that every man is totally depraved and unwilling of himself to believe and be saved. We have also seen that God has sovereignly chosen some to be saved and if He had not done so they would never have been saved. However, we seem to be faced with a unique dilemma. If men must believe to be saved but are unable to do so, how is it that some of them do in fact come to believe? The answer is that if a man by nature always resists the grace of God, then in order for that grace to be effectual it must in some sense be irresistible; for if the grace of God were ineffectual none would be saved, and this we know is not the case.

B. The answer to the dilemma, then, is the biblical doctrine of irresistible grace; also known as effectual calling. This is the fourth point of Calvinism. It builds upon the foundation of the first two Points (Total Depravity and Unconditional Election), and like all the points of Calvinism, it presupposes the absolute sovereignty of God.

C. Now the term itself does not occur in Scripture, but the truth of the doctrine is found frequently in Scripture. Let us define some of the basic terms we shall be using. “Grace” is the unmerited favor of God, specifically in regards to salvation. It is sovereignly given only to the elect; those whom God has eternally chosen to set His love upon. “Irresistible” means that no man can successfully resist it when it is bestowed on him. Some Calvinists prefer the term “invincible”, meaning that it always conquers the will of man.

Others like the word “efficacious” or “effectual”, meaning that it always effects what God intends. This grace is “particular”; it is for the elect alone and not for all men. The 1689 London Baptist Confession gives this explanation of what we mean:

“Those whom God hath predestinated unto life, he is pleased in his appointed, and accepted time, effectually to call, by his Word and Spirit, out of that state of sin and death in which they are by nature, to grace and salvation by Jesus Christ; enlightening their minds spiritually and savingly to understand the things of God; taking away their heart of stone, and giving unto them a heart of flesh; renewing their wills, and by his almighty power determining them to that which is good, and effectually drawing them to Jesus Christ; yet so as they come most freely, being made willing by his grace.” (X:l).[2]

II. Special Calling

A. One of the first stages of the application of Irresistible Grace is that of Special Calling, also termed Particular Vocation. The Scripture speaks of two kinds of “calls”. The first is known as the universal or general call. It is the Gospel, mentioned in the Great Commission (Matt. 28:19-20; Mark 16:16; Acts 1:8, etc). God commands all men who hear the Gospel to believe (Mark 16:16) and repent (Acts 17:30). Christ invites all men who hear the Gospel to come to Him (Matt. 11:28; Rev. 22:17). This is the universal free offer/proclamation of the Gospel.

B. But there is another calling which is given only to the elect: “Many are called, but few are chosen” (Matt. 22:14). Obviously, not all who hear the Gospel are elect. The free offer of the Gospel is external; the special call is internal. This special calling is an integral part of the Golden Chain of Redemption/The Order of Salvation/Ordo Salutis (Rom. 8:30. Cf. 2 Pet. 1:10).

C. Galatians 1:15 says that Paul was “called through His grace”. Irresistible Grace is inseparable from Special Calling. By this unique application of grace, elect sinners are called out of darkness into salvation (I Pet. 2:9). All previous links in the Golden Chain were totally outside of the sinner and were antecedent to salvation. Now salvation is applied and given: “he saved us and called us with a holy calling” (2 Tim. 1:9).

D. This Special Calling is referred to many times in Scripture, always applicable to believers alone (e.g. Rom. 1:7, 9:24; I Cor. 1:9, 26; Gal. 5:l3; Eph. 4:4; Col. 3:15; I Thess. 2:12, 4:7; I Tim. 6:12; I Pet. 2:21, etc.). But there are three passages in particular which illustrate its teaching.

E. The first is Acts 16:14, “and the Lord opened her heart to respond the things spoken by Paul”. Lydia was another totally depraved sinner. She had a hard heart and could neither hear nor respond from the heart to the things of the Gospel. Paul gave the external, general call of the Gospel. But only when the Spirit worked miraculously in her heart was she able to truly hear and believe. When the Spirit opens the heart, a sinner automatically and willingly responds.

F. Second, in John 10:16 and 27, Jesus said, “My sheep hear my voice.” Obviously all men heard the external words of Christ. But the wolves and goats would not follow Him. So He gives a special call to those whom He has chosen to be His sheep. When they hear, they automatically and willingly follow Him. But they alone hear this call.

G. Third, there is the parable in Luke 14:16-24. In the parable, a man gives a banquet and sends servants to invite people in. Those who hear the invitation make all sorts of excuses to absent themselves from coming. Then the man sends the messengers out again in a different way: “Go out into the highways and along the hedges, and compel them to come in, that my house may be filled” (vs. 23). Medieval Roman Catholicism misunderstood this text to mean that special inquisitors could compel men to believe in Catholicism, through the use of torture. But that is all wrong. No man can save another person. The text means something different. The first group of messengers are Christians. We give the universal invitation to all men to come to the salvation banquet, which Christ has furnished. But of themselves, no one will ever come. They will all make excuses. The free offer is resistible and usually is resisted by men. But then God sends out another call, one that is irresistible. When the Holy Spirit gives this call, He “compels” sinners to come in. But He does not do this with all men; else all men would be saved. He goes where He pleases (John 3:8). He “compels” only the elect. When He calls in this way, they always come.

III. The Drawing Power of the Holy Spirit

A. Another key text is John 6:44, “No man can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.” The Father draws men to Christ by means of the Holy Spirit (cf. John 14-16). In previous teachings we noted that this text proves the doctrine of Total Depravity, specifically Total Inability. Fallen man always fights against God; he never seeks for God (Rom. 3:11); he never wants to come to Christ. Indeed, he is unable to want to come.

B. God, then, must do something in the sinner to make him willing. And this He does through Irresistible Grace. Note that the text says, “unless the Father draws him.” The Father sends the Spirit to “draw” the sinner to Christ in a special way. Now, non-Calvinists may agree up to a point here. The usual view is that the Spirit draws all men who hear the Gospel. Well, the Spirit does effect all who hear, but does not effect all in the same way. The general calling is always resisted and rejected. But there is another calling, which is referred to in John 6:44. It always wins.

C. The key word is “draw”. In Greek it is the word helko (e[lkw) (related to helkuo). It has a specific meaning behind it: compelling force. It is used in John 21:6 and 11 of fishermen “dragging” a net (hence the word “dragnet”). The net of itself could not successfully resist. In John 18:10, it is used of Peter “drawing” his sword. In Acts 16:19 and 21:30, it is used of Paul and Silas being “dragged” by a mob. James 2:6 uses it of rich men “dragging” poor men into court.

D. e[lkw meant to drag, compel, pull, force, overwhelm. Note the following examples of its use in ancient Greek: to drag a dead body by the foot, to drag away a prisoner, to drag a felled tree, to draw ships down to the sea, to pull a chariot to pull a plow, to drag chains, to pull a cloak behind oneself, to drink a liquid, to draw a bowstring, to hoist sails, to lift up scales, to pull a barge pole, to tow a ship, to compel another person to work for you. In every instance we find superior force being exerted on an object or person, with the necessary result that the one doing the “dragging” was successful.

E. The point is simply this: when God sets out to save one of the elect, He so works on his heart that He successfully overcomes all resistance. He irresistibly and efficaciously draws the sinner to Christ. It never fails.

IV. Power Grace.

A. But why does this always succeed? Simply put, God always succeeds in something when He uses omnipotence. General mercy to all men does not have the force of omnipotence behind it, else all men would be saved. Irresistible Grace is simply the combination of electing grace and omnipotence.

B. A few years ago, John Wimber wrote a book entitled Power Evangelism. Being an Arminian, he does not believe in the real “power” in evangelism. Believers can witness and preach all they want to, but that will never save a single soul. It takes God the Spirit, the divine evangelist, to successfully win a soul to Jesus. He wins sinners by what I term “power grace”. Note how Paul speaks of it in I Thess. 1:5, “our Gospel did not come to you in word only, but also in power and in the Holy Spirit and with full conviction”. He also speaks of it in Eph. 1:19, “what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might”. The same omnipotent, invincible power that raised Christ from the dead also successfully and effectively raises elect sinners from spiritual death. That is real power.

C. Have you ever pondered the philosophical concept, “What happens when the unstoppable force meets the immovable object”? Even natural physics says that such is a contradiction; something must give way. The same is true in salvation. Man’s fallen will is dead and hardened against coming to Christ. Of itself it is immovable. Then God’s force comes and meets it. Which will win out? Why, God will, of course. Divine omnipotence is always greater than our sin and its power. When God is set to convert a man, even total depravity must give way. We have already shown that God is sovereign in Providence. He is also sovereign in salvation. Man cannot stop Providence, nor can he thwart Irresistible Grace.

D. John 6:44 says again, “No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him; and I will raise him up on the last day.” Of ourselves, we are unwilling and unable to come to Christ. But what is impossible with Man is not impossible with God. God sends forth special power and overwhelms the will of Man. He makes men willing to come to Christ. He works in and through and behind their wills in such a sovereign way that they will exactly as He wants them to will: “God is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure” (Phil. 2:13).

E. This is much the same as another phenomenon in the Bible. The Old Testament frequently speaks of the Holy Spirit “coming upon” such-and-such a person (e.g. Num. 11:25-29, 24:2; I Sam. 10:6, 10, 11:6, 16:13; Judges 3:10, 6:34, 11:29,13:25, 14:6; 2 Chron. 15:1, 20:14, 24:20. Cf. Rev. 1:10). This usually was related to the gift of prophecy. When the Spirit came upon such a man, he was given a message from God and could not resist the overwhelming drive to speak it. Jeremiah attempted to resist, but could not (Jer. 20:9). The same is true in salvation. When the Spirit comes upon a sinner, he too is given a message and is too weak to successfully resist. The message is faith. The Spirit gives the sinner faith in Christ (cf. I Cor. 12:3). Just as with the prophets and mighty men of old, when the Spirit comes upon a sinner, he is not only able to do what he was unable to do before; he is also compelled to do it. Irresistible Grace both enables and compels a sinner to believe in Christ and be saved.

V. The Irresistible Drawing of Irresistible Grace.

A. Though this grace is irresistible, we ought not to think of it as merely raw force. God does not save us by grabbing us by the scruff of the neck and drag us kicking and screaming to the Cross. Sure, we kick and scream before this grace is given, but not after. God does not simply use mere force. He does not “make us an offer we can’t refuse.” He couples power with grace. It is power love.

B. We find the Greek word e[lkw (helko) in two pertinent Old Testament passages in the Greek Septuagint. In Jer. 31:3, God says, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. Therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you.” And in Hosea 11:4, “I led them with cords of a man, with bonds of love.” Irresistible grace is that special love of God whereby He woos His Bride to Himself in such a way that He wins her over. She comes willingly, as when she confesses in Song of Solomon 1:4, “Draw me after you and let us run together! The king has brought me into His chambers.”

C. This is that same special love of God that chose the elect in the first place. Irresistible Grace is simply the temporal application of Electing Grace, First He chooses us, then He woos us. In both, He is successful. He overcomes all obstacles. He is intent on bestowing His love upon His beloved, in such a way that guarantees her love in return. You may recall the old song, “You made me love you. I didn’t want to do it, but you made me love you.” And such a one who is effectively and inwardly drawn to Christ willingly receives and returns this love.

D. Now, what exactly is there in this grace that does the trick? Not just power, but something else. This grace is the grace of Christ. It tells us of Him, Him who is altogether lovely and suitable and perfect. To change the metaphor slightly, you may conceive of it as walking through an art gallery, strolling past painting after painting, until you are arrested by the overwhelming beauty of a certain picture. You cannot take your eyes off it. Its beauty draws you to it. Lovers know what this is like on a personal level. And Christians know what it is like on the spiritual level. When the Spirit shows us Christ for the first time as He really is, we are irresistibly drawn to Him. To make this grace resistible, therefore, is to detract from the perfect beauty that resides in Christ.

VI. Common Objections

A. “But what about Acts 7:51, ‘You men who are stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart are always resisting the Holy Spirit’?” Actually, this verse only illustrates the First Point of Calvinism. Fallen Man always fights against the Holy Spirit. He kicks against the pricks, he hardens his heart, and he stubbornly refuses to believe. This does not mean, however, that the Spirit has been frustrated. No, the Spirit has a general way of striving with sinners that can be successfully resisted. But He also has a particular, irresistible way of working on men’s hearts. He had worked irresistibly on Stephen’s heart but had not on the hearts of the Pharisees. Later in Acts we read of how He irresistibly worked on the heart of one of those Pharisees, namely, Paul of Tarsus. When He works like that, sinful man gives up.

B. “The Spirit makes all men able to believe, but He doesn’t compel them to believe.” This is not what the Bible teaches. First, there is no text, which teaches that God gives a hypothetical “potential faith” to all men (or all who hear the Gospel), steps back, and leaves it to them whether they will place this faith in Christ. It is true that the Spirit enables sinners to believe. But He does not do this with all men. Moreover, as we showed already, He not only enables us to believe, He compels us to believe.

C. “But what about free will? The human will is sacrosanct and off-limits to God. “No, Man does not have free will. His will is dead in sins (Eph. 2:1-3) and is a slave, not free. Moreover, there is not an inch in the universe that is off-limits to God. As we have already seen in our previous studies on Providence, Divine Sovereignty, Human Responsibility and Total Depravity, God can and does govern the human will. “But doesn’t John 12:32 say that Christ draws all men to Himself?” Calvinists offer several answers. Some say that “all” means “all kinds” or “all the elect”. Others say this refers to the general calling of the Gospel. Still others interpret it to refer to the Phil. 2 motif, that is, that because of the Cross, Christ is Lord of all men. Hence, He will draw all men under His authority and judgment.

E. “It is unfair for God to work like that in some but not all.” The Canons of Dort anticipated this objection, and replied: “God is under no obligation to confer this grace upon any” (3/4: 15). No man, even the elect, deserves this grace or any other grace. Therefore, if God so chooses to bestow it - and that irresistibly – upon some, are we cheated? Cannot He do what He wants to with what is His?

F. The last objection is the most serious. We will quote it from the words of one of its main proponents, Norman Geisler: “Irresistible grace on the unwilling is a violation of free choice. For true love is persuasive but never coercive. There can be no shotgun weddings in heaven...God is love. True love never forces itself on anyone. Forced love is rape, and God is not a divine rapist!” This is dangerous heresy. It presumes that men have free will, which they do not. If Geisler were right that God never exerts invincible power, then no man would ever be convinced or converted. Those making this objection, including Dr Geisler, have not yet plumbed the depths of their own sinfulness. Moreover, it severely limits the sovereignty of God. Where does he get the notion that God cannot and does not force us to love Him? This is exactly what the Bible teaches, as we have shown. Moreover, Geisler greatly errs in comparing the Reformed doctrine of Irresistible Grace to rape. First off, rape is not love, but a form of hatred and lust. Second, victims of rape do not reply with love for their attackers. Third, neither victim nor rapist continues to love the other. The whole objection is dangerous. It is tantamount to high blasphemy. It only shows that Arminians have a severely limited view of God’s majesty, sovereignty, power and true grace. God loves His elect too much to leave, them in their sins. He forcibly and lovingly rescues them. Once rescued, they are eternally and lovingly grateful. It is not rape; it is true-blue electing love that leads to a dramatic and romantic rescue.

VII. Conclusion

This is only an introduction to a deep subject. There is still much mystery in it. The hymn is right: “I know not how the Spirit moves, convincing men of sin; revealing Jesus through the Word, creating faith in Him.” But the point is, it happens and we praise God for it. As the Canons of Dort explain, “The manner of this operation cannot be fully comprehended by believers in this life. Notwithstanding which, they rest satisfied with knowing and experiencing, that by this grace of God they are enabled to believe with the heart and love their Savior” (3/4:13). Praise God for His Irresistible Grace!

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[1] Effectual simply means “producing or able to produce a desired effect.” I.e., effective.

[2] http://www.vor.org/truth/1689/1689bc10.html

Interesting Audio Interviews with New Agers

Our church is heavily involved with outreach and evangelism in our local community, and what follows is our most recent friendly interaction with New Age community at the Summer Solstice celebration held annually at the Lindley Park Arboretum in Greensboro, NC.

www.thegoddesseffect.com

www.thegoddesseffect.com/solstice.htm

In 2006, almost our entire church mingled with the participants and performers at Lindley Park while I did some open-air preaching for about 15 minutes. After the open-air; we broke up into groups and interviewed people as to their views concerning truth, God, the Bible, trying to get a hold on their views of epistemology, metaphysics, and ethics so as to present the gospel. This year the celebration fell on Thursday during a week wherein I could not attend due to extenuating circumstances.

However, my fellow elder attended this year's events and interviewed both performers and participants. He asked a variety of questions to briefly set in bold relief the stark contrasts between the New Age Worldview and the Christian Worldview. Regardless of your worldview, you will benefit from and enjoy hearing those questions and answers. My fellow elder read passages from Exodus and Romans and asked for their “opinions" regarding those passages. The opening question was:

"Will you describe God to me?"

This was usually followed up with some questions about the location of the Ten Commandments.

Finally, a question was posed about the interviewee’s acceptance or rejection of the following proposition:

“Since God has written His Law in the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20, and people who break those laws are sinners and God Judges Sin, and the only way to avoid the judgment of God is by the Grace of God through Faith in Jesus Christ alone, Do you accept or reject that proposition?"

While the interviews can be entertaining, the real issue is that our own “Jerusalem” has plenty of people who not only don’t believe that Jesus Christ died for their sin, by God’s Grace, but they have made a god in their own image from their own imagination to suit their own sinful interests. It does not matter that they cannot possibly live consistently with their “concept” of god, truth, or reality, but many times it is blatantly evident that they have never thought about their own inconsistencies and how they naturally try to blameshift sin.

My fellow elder noted that He wanted to ask some of the following questions:

"If it is all about love and doing no harm, do you LOVE people who do harm to others?" (i.e., Hitler, Dahmer, etc).

However, in this case, these interviews were designed for upcoming podcast broadcasting at our church website, or perhaps at The Narrow Mind, with Pastor Gene Cook, Jr at www.unchainedradio.com . At this point, you can subscribe to the podcast by simply copying the data in the atom box on the lower right-hand side of the page and you will hear the whole podcast when it is done, Or paste the following link into your iTunes player: http://sfofgso.org/tinc?key=SUmCzycm) You should also be able to listen and/or download from the links below.

For WMA (play on your computer)

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100001.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100002.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100003.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100004.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100005.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100006.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100007.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100008.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100009.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100010.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100011.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100012.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100013.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100014.WMA

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100015.WMA


For MP3 (ipod and mp3 players)

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100001.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100002.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100003.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100004.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100005.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100006.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100007.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100008.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100009.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100010.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100011.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100012.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100013.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100014.mp3

www.sfofgso.org/Solstice/DM100015.mp3

Biblical Comfort for Grieving Parents

The following article was written by Michael Feather, a good friend of mine who is an elders at Crossroads Bible Fellowship, a New Covenant Reformed Baptist Church located in Greenville, NC.

How can you find comfort when you lose an infant child? This is a very practical question that deserves an answer. There is nothing in Scripture that specifically addresses how to cope when you lose a child, but this does not mean God is silent. Scripture has much to say to believers about how to think about, cope with, and respond to all of the different trials and pain in life. Michael Feather, in his book review of John Macarthur’s book Safe in the Arms of God: Truth from Heaven About the Death of a Child clearly explained why we do not believe that Dr. MacArthur succeeded in giving the “Truth from Heaven” to grieving parents. This short essay is our attempt to mine the Scriptures for the comfort God does give believers who have lost a child in infancy.

The Necessary Equipment: the New Heart

Whenever Scripture talks about the things that believers must do, it is assumed that the real believer has the desire and ability to do these things.[1] The reason for this is that God has given him the necessary equipment to do the job. Every believer receives complete forgiveness of sins and a new heart at conversion (Hebrews 10:11-14). This new heart is the work of the Holy Spirit causing the believer to love God more than anything else. This means that believers not only want to obey the Lord that they love, but that they have the power of God enabling them to obey Him. I am not saying that it will be easy. You will have to sweat to please God with your pain and grief and it will probably be harder work than you have ever done in your life. But if you have repented and believed, then God is working in your life so powerfully that you will be able to do far more than simply cope with your pain.

Where Is My Child?

The first question a grieving parent might want answered is what is the eternal destination of his baby, but this will not allow a parent to gain biblical comfort. Our all-wise God has chosen not to reveal the answer to this question. He never says anything about the fate of those who die in infancy. There is not one passage or verse that is unambiguous on the subject. Scripture does say that God is absolutely sovereign and absolutely good. That God is perfectly holy and just is clear from every page of God’s Word. The Bible also says that God is full of mercy and kindness. Finally, God has revealed that everyone who comes into this world is guilty of Adam’s sin and deserves hell.[2] That’s it. God does not think man needs to know any more than that and He is always right. Trust God. Believe that whatever He decides to do is perfectly good, holy, and just. Fight the temptation to go beyond what Scripture says to find comfort. Turn your attention from the quest to answer this question and seek the comfort God does give in Scripture.

How Does Scripture Say We Gain Comfort?

When you lose a child the pain is nearly unbearable. But it is not like a physical pain. The pain is that of lost opportunities, lost time, lost hugs, lost kisses, lost laughs, and the loss of lives shared. It is freezing cold darkness where there was once warm light. Losing a child leaves a hole in your life and makes you think you simply cannot go on. After a loss of such a magnitude, how can anything ever be the same? This hole in your life is so large that no one and nothing can fill it except God. There is emotional pain in your life that only the Father of all comfort and compassion” (2 Corinthians 1:3) can be of any help. But even that statement, although it is true, is abstract. The one question that is universal to those who experience great suffering is why did this happen? The quest for an answer to this question leads to comfort because it leads to God.

God’s Sovereignty and God’s Character

The question “Why did this happen?” leads the Christian to consider what is the nature of God’s relationship to the death of his child. Everything that happens has been determined ahead of time by our God. God has told us in Scripture that He is in control and determines everything that happens in the universe. By His powerful will He controls both the ends and the means:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered (Matthew 10:29-30).

The LORD works out everything for his own ends even the wicked for a day of disaster (Proverbs 16:4).

At the end of that time, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven, and my sanity was restored. Then I praised the Most High; I honored and glorified him who lives forever. His dominion is an eternal dominion; his kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the peoples of the earth are regarded as nothing. He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?” (Daniel 4:34-35)

In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will (Ephesians 1:11).

When something as devastating as losing a child happens, you will inevitably want to blame someone: yourself, someone else, or Satan. But we live in God’s universe and He is in control. If God had a desk, He would have a plaque on it that says, “The buck stops here.” God wrote the script of your life and has made sure that absolutely everything that has happened, including the great loss you have suffered, has happened according to the script. If you want to know who to shake your fist at, Scripture gives us unchallengeable clarity that God is the one with whom you must take up your grievance.

But before you go off “half-cocked” to give God a piece of your mind, I would like you to consider God’s character in relation to His sovereignty. Scripture says that God is perfectly good: “This is the message we have heard from Him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all” (1 John 1:5). Although evil acts and terrible disasters happen and God is in perfect control of these events, He can never ever be blamed for evil. We see this clearly in the life of Joseph. God clearly orchestrated all the events so that Joseph would be separated from his father, sold into slavery, put in prison, and finally after many years given a position of power in Egypt under Pharaoh. Imagine the years of suffering that Joseph experienced and the pain and loss that his father had to endure. The reason why all this was happening to them was clearly beyond their grasp for many years. Yet, when Joseph was finally able to confront his brothers who had caused so much pain in his life he had an understanding of God’s intentions in all of his pain and suffering: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20). God’s plan was to use Joseph to store up grain to allow many people to live for the famine and make way for the birth of the nation of Israel. For so many years neither Jacob nor Joseph himself could have possibly made heads or tails of why a good God could have brought so much pain and suffering into their lives, but God had an amazing and good purpose from the beginning.

Consider the greatest evil ever committed; the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. This was the cold-blooded murder of the only innocent person in the history of the world. It is recorded in the pages of Scripture as an evil act that men are blamed for and an act that God himself willed to happen:

Indeed Herod and Pontius Pilate met together with the Gentiles and the people of Israel in this city to conspire against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed. They did what your power and will had decided beforehand should happen. Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness (Acts 4:27-29).

It was simultaneously a crime committed by sinful men who “conspired” to do evil, and an event that was “decided beforehand” by God and caused by His “power.” He is never to be blamed for evil[3], but He causes all things to happen. Consider the amazing fact that the greatest evil ever to occur is also the greatest good! As we work through difficult issues and situations in life, we must remember that God is behind all of them. But, at the same time, we must remember that the God who is behind all of them is perfectly good!

If you are a believer, absolutely everything that the Father brings into your life is motivated by the Father’s love for you. Even the loss of your child, in a way that we do not yet understand, is from the hand of a loving God and is for your good: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). If you are a believer, you are at the center of the universe. God is orchestrating absolutely everything in the universe so that every little detail of your life is tailored just for you. This means that even the loss of your child was chosen just for you from the hands of an all-wise God who loves you intensely. This does not nullify your loss or make your pain any less real. This does not give you a full answer to the question, “Why did this happen?” But it does give your loss divine purpose that is personal, loving, and all-wise.

Joy: A Command For Life

The second step to gaining comfort is to recognize that joy is a command. God commands believers to always be joyful (1 Thessalonians 5:16). This is very different from a command to always be “happy.” When I refer to joy I am not talking about a superficial smile or a carefree attitude. Christian joy can be accompanied by tears of sorrow. Christian joy is a satisfying mood or feeling, which motivates one to live for Christ. The source of joy is hope and trust in the goodness of God, in what He has done, is doing, and will do. If you have lost a child, there will be days when your sense of loss will be almost intolerable. But it will be accompanied with an abiding trust in the goodness of God and His work in your loss. Your pain will be accompanied by a trust that God has good intentions in bringing this pain and sorrow into your life and will achieve a perfect and satisfying ending to it.

How Do You Get From Despair To Joy?

The third step in gaining comfort from God is to begin working hard at transforming your mind. We have just learned some truths about what a Christian is, who God is, how He works, and the way to respond to your suffering. Now I want to tell you in practical terms how to get from despair to joy. If you have lost a child you are most likely in a sea of despair. You wake up each morning trapped in memories of what was or dreams of what could have been. Self-pity, withdrawal, rage, and bitterness are just some of the emotions and responses you might find rising up from within you. Your responsibility is to begin to renew your mind with the truths in Scripture: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2). You’ll have to actively work at replacing thoughts about how unfair your situation is with thoughts about God’s perfect and good purpose being worked out in your life. You’ll have to put off evil thoughts of blaming yourself or others for your loss and put on thankful thoughts that contain the truth that God in His mysterious and good purposes has brought this loss. You will need to fight these common temptations to:

· dwell on your loss and continue to cry and not fulfill your responsibilities.
· think that your situation is not fair and not deserved.
· get jealous of others who have new babies or are enjoying their own children.
· avoid being around people because they will ask you about your loss or because they will look at you with pity.

You can fight these temptations first by bringing to mind 1 Corinthians 10:13: “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” Then you must look to the needs of others. Concentrate on how you might love other people to the glory of God. When someone asks you about your loss or shows concern for you, thank him and tell him about what you are learning about God. Be honest about your struggles. But then begin to ask questions about how he is doing and try to encourage him. Notice, all of the temptations above are temptations to give in to self-centeredness because of your pain. You fight that by first considering how Christ has shown you tremendous love by laying down His life for you, and then you begin to lay down your life, your preferences, and your comfort, for the sake of others. You will see that once you begin to pour yourself into other people, your life will begin to make sense again. You will find your way from despair to joy in Christ.

Some Wisdom For Those Giving Comfort

How can you help a friend who has lost a child? The first thing you must do for your friend is to cry with him. Put your arm around him and just be there for him. Your friend has just suffered such an unimaginable loss and is being hit with such a wave of emotions that he is overwhelmed. His life has been torn apart and he will need to be cared for as if he has just been in an accident in which he has been injured. This is not the time for a discussion about theology. That time will come. Often this person will need help with simply coping with the daily things we all have to do: cooking, cleaning, and washing clothes. Clear your schedule and be available. Sit with him. Read Scripture to him.

But there will come a point not many weeks after such a loss at which you need to become active in helping your grieving friend to actively assume the responsibility of finding comfort. Explain the theological perspective above. Be prepared to repeat yourself many times. Write important verses down for your friend to memorize and consider. When you see that he is giving into the temptation to not fulfill his responsibilities, gently point this out and offer to help. When you notice that he is becoming self-centered and isolating himself, point out gently how that life-style is sinful. Encourage him to minister to others and give specific examples of how he might do this. Remind your friend of the life of Joseph and how out of such pain and sorrow God did wonderful and surprising things. Above all, remind your friend of the cross and God’s amazing love towards sinners over and over again.

Conclusion

God offers rock solid comfort to you if you have lost a precious baby. It is not the comfort of knowing that your baby is in heaven. As wonderful as that would be, God offers you something better. He offers you the comfort of knowing that He is in control and that He is perfectly wise and perfectly good. He gives you good reason to have joy in your suffering. God uses suffering in your life to make you more like Jesus Christ. Finally, God gives you a new heart enabling you to embrace the comfort that God gives rather than giving way to despair.

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[1] The situation with the unbeliever is different. Unbelievers are unable to submit to God’s law (Romans 8:7). But for the believer God’s law is not only possible to obey, but His commands “are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).

[2] For an extended explanation and biblical defense of this statement see the article in this issue of the JNCT entitled “How Should We Treat Our Children?”

[3] 1 John 1:5

The Biblical Correction For Passive Male Syndrome - Part II

INTRODUCTION & REVIEW (Deuteronomy 6:1-9 and other Assorted Scriptures)

Deuteronomy 6:1-9 "Now this is the commandment, the statutes and the judgments which the LORD your God has commanded me to teach you, that you might do them in the land where you are going over to possess it, ² so that you and your son and your grandson might fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. ³ "O Israel, you should listen and be careful to do it, that it may be well with you and that you may multiply greatly, just as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. ⁴ "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! ⁵ "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. ⁶ "These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. ⁸ "You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. ⁹ "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Brothers in Christ, please give me your undivided attention. In light of thinking about the recent events in my own life, I have been reminded that the thing that Satan wants most is to drag you, your wife, and your children straight into hell. He does so by keeping you so busy and distracted with the mundane, worldly, and even the necessary things of life so that you end up being rarely confronted with your own spiritual condition and the condition of your family. You become numb to the things of God through your work responsibilities, hobbies, secret sins, and sometimes even your over-involvement in church activities. This over-involvement leads to no self-reflection of your own soul and provides no time for you to consider the importance of teaching your wife and children about God. I fully believe that this is at the heart of what I have called the passive male syndrome. The Passive Male Syndrome (affectionately known hereafter as PMS) is recognized by some of the following characteristic symptoms:

1. Professing Christian fathers cast off the traditional, biblical method for raising their children and discipling their wives. They do this by relegating all or most of their fatherly duties to youth pastors, preachers, women, Sunday-School teachers, and nursery workers (Notice men that I didn’t say that it was necessarily wrong for any of those people to minister to your family; only that they are not to be the primary means of discipleship within your home. That’s your job!).

2. Professing Christian fathers are involved in a church that is program-centered rather than discipleship-centered. This is the type of church that keeps you away from home and busy for hours on end 3-5 nights/week. The program-centered church often keeps fathers so busy through driving the shuttle bus, going to their deacon’s meetings, attending their bi-weekly men’s discussion groups, and sitting on advisory boards that they have no time to wash their own soul with the water of the word of God much less their wives and children. (Notice men that I didn’t say there was anything wrong per se with being involved with church related activities 3-5 nights/week; but when those activities infringe upon your own time with God and the discipleship that your family desperately needs, it can become a sinful situation.)

3. Often, the professing Christian father is living the typical, high-energy, rat-race life in the secular realm. This means that he has strict job demands that cause his evenings to be filled with business meetings, work responsibilities, and sports events. (Again, notice that I didn’t say that there was anything wrong with working late now and then or with going bowling with your buddies; but again, when those things destroy your personal time with God and your time discipling your family, your priorities are out of whack and you are in sin.)

All of the aforementioned things, whether sacred or secular, either directly or indirectly prevents you from performing your duty as the spiritual leader of your home. The divorce rate is higher amongst supposed evangelicals than it is in the pagan home because your atheist neighbor ends up spending more time with his wife and children than you do. On top of your job responsibilities, you are spreading yourself thin with church programs, meetings, and secular pursuits 4-5 nights per week that keeps your family apart all the time. You hardly ever see your family; and so you end up failing to teach them what the Lord their God requires of them. You are in sin and you know it. You think I’m a legalist? Well, then listen carefully to the word of the Lord:

Proverbs 1:7-8 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. ⁸ Hear, my son, your father's instruction . . .

Proverbs 3:12 For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

Proverbs 4:1-5 Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding, ² For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction. ³ When I was a son to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, ⁴ Then he taught me and said to me, "Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live; ⁵ Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth.

Proverbs 6:20-21 My son, observe the commandment of your father . . .

Proverbs 28:7 He who keeps the law is a discerning son, But he who is a companion of gluttons humiliates his father. (Why? Because he’s forsaken the teaching of his father!)

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

The Scriptures clearly and unequivocally teach that children should be trained in spiritual matters primarily under the direction and guidance of their fathers. When Paul says “bring them up” in Ephesians 6:4 he uses the imperative mood (evktre,fete verb imperative present active 2nd person plural from evktre,fw). That’s signifies a non-optional command of Christ; one that has detrimental effects if not heeded. With those verses in mind let us do two things: (1) We will review the OT example of Eli, the lukewarm priest who created catastrophic effects for himself and his children because he was passive when he should’ve been spiritually proactive and protective, and then (2) we’ll look at the Biblical solution for restoring the proper role of the father in the home.

A REVIEW OF PMS FROM THE OT - The Price of Eli’s Passivity (1 Samuel 2:12-17; 22).

1 Samuel 2:12-17 Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the LORD ¹³ and the custom of the priests with the people. When any man was offering a sacrifice, the priest's servant would come while the meat was boiling, with a three-pronged fork in his hand. ¹⁴ Then he would thrust it into the pan, or kettle, or caldron, or pot; all that the fork brought up the priest would take for himself. Thus they did in Shiloh to all the Israelites who came there. ¹⁵ Also, before they burned the fat, the priest's servant would come and say to the man who was sacrificing, "Give the priest meat for roasting, as he will not take boiled meat from you, only raw." ¹⁶ If the man said to him, "They must surely burn the fat first, and then take as much as you desire," then he would say, "No, but you shall give it to me now; and if not, I will take it by force." ¹⁷ Thus the sin of the young men was very great before the LORD, for the men despised the offering of the LORD.

1. We see in 2:12 that the Bible says that Eli’s sons were worthless men (“worthless men” – lit. means “sons of Belial” or base, wicked men). This word is variously used throughout the OT to describe scoundrels and troublemakers, those incite others to idolatry (Deut. 13:13) or insurrection (10:27; 2 Sam. 16:7; 20:1), the sexually immoral (Judg. 19:22) and liars (1 Kings 21:10, 13).

2. They didn’t know the Lord in the sense that “He should be known; i.e., they did not fear him or trouble themselves about him.”[1] This is contrasted with the commands of God from Solomon’s pen in Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. These young priests had no intimate knowledge and fellowship with the Lord.

3. According to verse 17, their sin was very great in God’s sight because they “despised the offering of the LORD.” The exact sin was basically this: (1) they were not happy with the specific portions of the offering that was to be given to them as priests (Deut. 18:3) and would instead take whatever meat their 3-pronged hook would collect from the boiling pot. (2) The OT law said that a priest had to burn the fat of the sacrificed animal on the altar to the Lord (Lev. 7:31). The fat was considered the best portion of the offering and thus it belonged to the Lord. As priests, Eli’s sons were supposed to burn the fat on the altar as a pleasing aroma to the Lord (Lev. 3:16; 7:31). The fat and the blood associated with it were forbidden for human consumption by any Israelite, especially the priests (Lev. 3:17; cf. Lev. 7:33; Ezek. 39:19: 44:7, 15). (3) Eli’s sons demanded from the worshippers more than they were supposed to have, and this included raw meat mixed with the fat (which was the most valuable portion of the offering), meat that would’ve been mingled with blood. **The forbidden consumption of the fat mingled with blood along with their demanding from the worshippers more than they were allotted by the law caused God’s anger to burn against them. According to the law, anyone who did such wickedness was to be cut off from the people, and cut them off God did! (Leviticus 7:25 'For whoever eats the fat of the animal from which an offering by fire is offered to the LORD, even the person who eats shall be cut off from his people.)

4. According to verse 22, Eli’s sons, as apostate priests were committing lewd acts with the temple servants. According to Deut. 23:17-18, desecrating His house in such a manner was an abomination (Deuteronomy 23:17 "None of the daughters of Israel shall be a cult prostitute, nor shall any of the sons of Israel be a cult prostitute. ¹⁸ "You shall not bring the hire of a harlot or the wages of a dog into the house of the LORD your God for any votive offering, for both of these are an abomination to the LORD your God.)

5. Verse 25 goes on to say that because of their wickedness, God Himself desired to kill them! Look at verse 25, "If one man sins against another, God will mediate for him; but if a man sins against the LORD, who can intercede for him?" But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for the LORD desired to put them to death.

This is what happens when men refuse to repent of their wickedness and heed God’s warnings: they are hardened in their sin!

6. It is important to point out here that even though Eli had rebuked his sons, his rebuke was not in accordance with God’s command; which was to cut them off from the rest of the people – cf. Lev. 7:25; Deut. 23:17.

7. Because Eli was passive and failed to rebuke his son’s in accordance with God’s word, God recognized that Eli preferred his sons more than Him (1 Samuel 2:29 'Why do you kick at My sacrifice and at My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling, and honor your sons above Me, by making yourselves fat with the choicest of every offering of My people Israel?').

8. As a result of Eli failing to rebuke his son’s properly and punish them accordingly, God punished him and his sons by eventually killing his sons (4:11), killing all his descendants by Saul (at Nob – 22:18-19), and in the removal of Abiathar from his priestly office so that Eli’s descendant would never be priest again (1 Ki. 2:26-27), but that Eleazar’s priestly line would prevail, just as God predicted (cf. Num. 25:18-19).

Summary: One man’s failure to do what God said to do with his sons lead to the downfall not only of himself and his immediate family, but lead to the fall of all his descendants after him!

There is no question that the role of the fathers in the Christian homes of our post-modern society has suffered a serious meltdown through caving in to the secular culture and failing to know the word of God well enough to discern between truth and error. We’ve seen enough of what God does to the male infected with the sin of passive male syndrome, now we need to know the biblical solution to restore order to the home!

TEACHING/APPLICATION: RESTORING THE BIBLICAL ROLE OF FATHERHOOD IN THE HOME

Our church is committed to focusing our energies toward our men and challenging them to live up to their Biblically defined roles in the home as delineated in Deuteronomy 6:4-9, Matthew 22:37-40; Ephesians 5:25-31; and Ephesians 6:4. Since Part I discussed the importance of restoring the biblical roles of fathers in the church, I’m going to give you some biblically based suggestions how you can do it in the home in the following order of priorities: (1) a focus on your relationship with God, (2) a focus on promoting your immediate family’s relationship with God (3) a discussion of your work responsibilities, and (4) a discussion of local church responsibilities.

1. Men, recognize that your relationship with God is # 1. When that begins to suffer, everything else does too. If you don’t care for your own soul you cannot care for the souls of your family. This means that you generally need to go to bed early enough so that you can get up early enough to read the Scriptures, pray, and nourish your own soul for 15-30 minutes each morning. Then, you focus on prayer for your family and then for your church. Again, since you are the spiritual leader of the home, you need to plan to get rest, plenty of rest.

2. Men, recognize that your children and wife are not going to be here forever but will spend eternity somewhere forever. This means that you must sacrificially spend plenty of time with them, loving them, discipling them, praying with them and for them. This means that they come before work and church responsibilities. Because you love God and realize that they are a gift given to you, you realize that you must spend as much time as possible with them because you are not guaranteed to have them tomorrow (James 4:14). Consider the following story:

A Father’s Farewell to His Son
A Reminder to Us of the Preciousness of Time

by Mark Stubblefield, March 10, 2003

Several months ago, I witnessed a tragedy that forever changed my perspective on the time that I have been given on this earth.

During an evening drive on an icy Missouri highway, I was waved to the side of the road to help at the scene of a car accident. As I approached the accident, I saw a truck flipped over in the ditch with a man who appeared to be around forty years old propping up the neck of a little boy about the age of ten.

After the paramedics were called at the request of the man holding on so tightly to the little boy, I was asked to call the grandmother of the little boy to inform her of the accident so she would be aware of what had taken place. Not knowing all the details or anything about the lives of the people involved, I continued to be of any help that I could. As I watched the man talk to the little boy and rub his shoulders in attempt to keep him warm, the boy began to mumble something under his breath and the man replied with “Daddy’s here, son.” It then became clear to me that this little boy was being held by his father. I began to see the concern in his father’s face as his son lay cold and in pain in the snowy ditch along the side of this remote highway.

Shortly after the realization of the circumstances began to sink into my thoughts, the little boy stopped moving which prompted his father to attempt resuscitation on him which lasted for several minutes. The little boy was not responding as his father moved his limp body around trying to revive him.

I stood prayerfully on the side of the highway watching this event take place as it was slowly being etched into my mind. About five minutes had passed and it had become clear that none of the efforts were helping revive this man’s son.

Several seconds later, I witnessed this little boy take his last breath followed by his teary-eyed father looking up at me, unable to grasp what had just happened. The father of this boy began to scream over and over, “Please don’t leave me, my baby. Daddy needs you” as he grasped his son’s lifeless body.

After the paramedics had arrived and there was no need for me to be there anymore, I began to drive back home, crying and seeking the Lord as how to better understand this horrible event that I had just witnessed. Thoughts began to flood my mind and slowly I began to see how treasured every relationship is that God places in our path. I then began to tearfully realize the importance of the time that God has given each of us.[2]

Christian men, given what I just read, how important is it to invest time wisely and direct the lives of your family in the truth of God’s Word? How does your soul and the eternal souls of your wife and children compare with your 401K, your golf game, your frequent late nights at work, or your time bowling with your buddies? God has given you the gift of precious souls to minister to in the time that He has appointed to you. Don’t forget to remember that every moment in your life is to be used for the glory of our Heavenly Father and that starts with taking care of your own soul. Don’t squander the time given to you by God by being lazy, but as part of your cross bearing, recognize that you must tend to your own soul and the souls of your family before you try to take over the world for Jesus and the gospel.

3. Men, recognize that your secular work responsibilities come before your local church ministry responsibilities. Your work puts bread on the table for your family, a roof over their head, and more importantly; it makes provision for your family’s other material needs so that your wives can fulfill their Titus 2:3-5 duties in the home and not be encumbered by secular employment.

4. Men, recognize that your church responsibilities come after all of that. If your church responsibilities conflict with the four previously mentioned things then you either have to delegate the task to somebody else who can do it, ask for help, or it will simply have to wait until you or somebody else can do it.

You may be saying, “You are crazy pastor, I can’t do all of that. I’ve got too much on my plate to take care of all those things, much less my own spiritual needs.” My friend, I sympathize with that response because I have struggled with these things myself. However, what always helps me is to review and remind myself of the four priorities above when I’m getting a little weary. I’ll say, “O.k., (1) my soul’s feeding and physical rest, (2) my family, (3) work, and then (4) church. O.k., got it!” Now, doing that has kept me sane and secure in the arms of Christ. This is because when I remind myself of my spiritual and earthly priorities it allows me to keep my eyes fixed on Him and not on the Christian church (which will let me down and has let me down), not on my friends (which will let me down), and not on people in general. Brothers, we all need to be Hebrews 12:2 men; those who have their eyes continually fixed on Christ.

This means that when you are engaged in your own spiritual and family responsibilities, if and when the church ministry opportunities conflict with your family responsibilities, you kindly and gently defer those church ministry opportunities to others who can and are able to do the work on the ministry (i.e., abortion outreach ministry, feeding sick folk, etc.). Men, your primary work of ministry right now is to your family. They are what comes first after your own personal devotion to God. Block out time to pray for them and nurture them before you ever turn your attention to secular work and local church needs. Doing that will help you keep your head screwed on straight and avoid the feeling that you're in a “rat race”.

Question: What About Fathers who Neglect Their God Given Role?

Answer: When a father is disobedient in fulfilling this role, he is exposed to the leaders of the church and should become the target of ministry and prayer so that he fulfills his responsibility. This should lead either to his salvation or his faithfulness.

Fathers, if you are frustrated at what you’ve heard so far, I fully sympathize with your frustrations. I work a full-time secular job and often stay up until 1-2 a.m. to work on ministry projects. I attempt to squeeze hospital visits in when needed, struggle to prepare lessons and outlines on time, work on Scripture exegesis during my lunch hour, and still try to squeeze in family time up to 2 hours per day. In spite of all of this, I still have people (both inside and outside of the church) who want more and more of my time and can't understand why I can't be there every time something goes wrong. So what do I do? What do I tell those who are pulling me from all directions? Again, I review my biblical priorities: (1) my own relationship with God, (2) my family’s, (3) work, and then (4) church responsibilities.

Brothers, if we establish biblical order in the home, we will reap huge spiritual dividends in the coming generations. The fruit of our labors will multiply exponentially if we take God seriously in the order established by the apostles. Sadly, popular evangelical church culture has unknowingly worked hard against the best type of widespread evangelism available to you: the ministry of the Word, worship, and the transmission of the gospel from one generation to the next starting in your own home.

It is time to raise up a new generation of men who will not fall prey to this anti-biblical masculine melt-down. This church has committed itself to wage war against the passive male syndrome. Therefore, we are calling you to reject the modern priorities that prevent you from discipling your wife and kids and replace them with some of the biblical priorities mentioned above.

CONCLUSION

Recovering the Biblical order in the home will require a measure of courageous self-sacrifice and preparation. To participate, Christian men and Christian churches must swim against the current of the priorities of our modern society and sadly even against the modern church! Providentially, the Christian man has a guaranteed roadmap found in the word of God. Christian fathers must understand that biblical masculinity is measured and defined by a willingness to show that their priorities in life are grounded in a self-sacrificial love; a love that is first and foremost given to God and secondly to your family:

^NAU Matthew 22:37 "'YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.' ³⁸ "This is the great and foremost commandment. ³⁹ "The second is like it, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' ⁴⁰ "On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."

^NAU Luke 19:10 "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost."

^NAU John 15:12-13 "This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. ¹³ Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

^NAU Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

^NAU Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

^NAU Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Courage to sacrifice career, pleasure, and social reputation for a holy and eternal cause is the normal fare for the Christian man. Men, you must remember that we are responsible for standing for truth in an age of lies. The world considers the life of a Christian to be a waste of time and a biblical worldview to have no real value. In a society based upon secular humanism, it is of utmost importance not to waste a moment of our lives neglecting our God-appointed responsibilities, but rather investing our time wisely in things that have true purpose and meaning.

Be encouraged that your Heavenly Father is in full control and do not waste another moment. As Paul says in second Timothy, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; (2 Tim. 4:7). Let us fight the good fight and avoid neglecting the joyous responsibilities in our home. When we come to the end of the race, may we look back on our lives and know that we have invested our time wisely by proclaiming Jesus Christ through the many generations that will come after us. I give glory to God for the truth that can be found in Scripture and know that no matter how horrible a circumstance may seem, we can give glory in every situation. I trust that it is an encouragement to each of you to know that the Lord has blessed you with time and I pray that you wisely prioritize it for the glory of your Heavenly Father and the good of your family.

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[1] Kiel and Delitzsch, Comementary on 1 Samuel 2:12, Hendrickson CD-ROM.

[2]http://www.visionforumministries.org/issues/life/a_fathers_farewell_to_his_son.aspx